


operation: get bitty a date to the winter screw

by thewolvesrunwild



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Digital Art, M/M, aromantic Lardo if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewolvesrunwild/pseuds/thewolvesrunwild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ransom and Holster have one last go at getting Bitty a date for Winter Screw. Jack is only a little jealous.<br/>Told mostly through texts in the 14-15 team group chat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	operation: get bitty a date to the winter screw

**Author's Note:**

> Umm so I use the word "queer" once as an umbrella term. I know that can bother some people so I'm just giving a heads up.

_ Subject: 14-15 team ((no more memes Rans)) (this is why we cant have nice things) _

**Ransom:** operation: get bitty a date to the winter screw is a go

**Holster:** suggestions welcome

**Shitty:** is bits okay with this?

**Bitty:** No.

**Ransom:** no bro left behind bitty

**Holster:** we have yet to get you laid and this is our last chance to make it happen

**Jack:** Bittle can get a date on his own

**Shitty:** it's cute you have that much faith in him

**Bitty:** Shits! Not you too!

**Holster:** so what's your type bro?

**Ransom:** tall, dark and handsome?

**Lardo:** bright blue eyes, tall dark and handsome, makes my heart bah-beat like a bass drum

**Shitty:** lards what the fuck

**Lardo:** I'm Not Crazy by Tiffany Giardina. All I can hear when I see that phrase

**Ransom:** fair enough

**Holster:** so bits, td&h?

**Bitty:** I'm still not okay with this

**Ransom:** what about short, light and pretty?

**Dex:** average, tan and decent?

**Holster:** dude that was swawesome. I owe you a highfive

**Nursey:** I suggested "so-so" but he went with decent instead.

**Ransom:** either works

 

Over the next few days, the chat was filled with eligible queer bachelors and why Bitty should hook up with them.

 

**Bitty:** If I ask someone myself will y'all let this go?

**Ransom:** dude do u have some1 in mind?

**Bitty:** yes

**Holster:** swawesome who is it??

**Bitty:** I'll tell y'all if they say yes

 

The last text had been sent 2 minutes ago and Jack hadn't stopped staring at his phone. Realistically he knew that Bitty would only be asking a friend (if he was really asking anyone at all). But Jack still couldn't stop his mind from jumping to a worst case scenario where the "friend" Bitty took with him wanted to become more than friends by the end of the night.

He didn't have any texts from Bitty and figured that his boyfriend would at least let him know who he was taking as his date before the rest of the group. He really shouldn't have even been checking his phone since practice wasn't over yet, but Jack had had an unhealthy obsession with the group chat since Ransom and Holster stated their mission. Bitty apologized to him privately and assured him that he was trying to find a way to stop them. And Jack had of course brushed off the apology with the excuse of it being Rason and Holster.

Jack's phone then pinged and he quickly unlocked it to view the new message.

 

**Bitty:** She said yes!!!

Attached was a picture of Bitty and Lardo with their hands clasped together and heads touching like a happy couple.

**Lardo:** we're thinking a January wedding

 

Jack let out a soft laugh as he quickly typed out a reply and then put his phone away to start practice again.  _ Of course _ Bitty had asked Lardo. The two had become very close and, since Shitty was typically her bro date, she'd need someone else to go with this year if she still didn't want to get a romantic date.

After practice Jack found  _ several  _ new messages on his phone.

 

**Jack:** I call best man

**Bitty:** You can't just call best man, it has to be offered to you

**Lardo:** if you don't want him, I'll take him for maid of honor

**Shitty:** fuck no that's my role. Lards I thought we were bros

**Bitty:** fine, Jack can be best man if it keeps the peace

**Ransom:** dude I better be invited

**Holster:** yeah we helped unite the happy couple

**Lardo:** well we need a groomsman and a bridesmaid so discuss amongst yourselves who gets what

**Holster:** that depends on the color of the dresses

**Ransom:** I don't know man I think I've got the better shoulders for it

**Holster:** you're right I'll stick with the suit

**Dex:** who else gets to come?

**Bitty:** Chowder is flower girl since he's the youngest in the family

**Chowder:** Yay!!!

**Lardo:** we'll skip ring bearers, too easy to mess up

**Nursey:** Dex and I can usher?

**Dex:** don't just sign me up for stuff

**Nursey:** you're the one who wanted to go to the wedding

**Bitty:** okay you can both usher and anyone else is just a guest. We want to keep it small

**Lardo:** it has to fit in the backyard of the Haus

 

Jack was about to drive back to his apartment when his phone gave one final ping.

  
**Shitty:** wait... bits... IS THAT JACK’S FLANNEL???

**Author's Note:**

> The group chat name kept getting changed to strange things (it was the youtube url to Never Gonna Give You Up for a whole week once) so Lardo pulled rank and made it boring.
> 
> Also posted to tumblr: http://thewolvesrunwild.tumblr.com/post/143449512447/operation-get-bitty-a-date-to-the-winter-screw


End file.
